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Survival tips from veteran parents of multiples |
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- Accept all offers of help from family and friends. There's always something they can do. Try publishing a list and post it on the refrigerator that indicates a list of "chores" or "needs" that others can do if they are looking for ways to help you out.
- Rest whenever possible. Nap when the babies nap. Unplug the phone and let the voicemail take the message and put a sign on the door -- your family and friends will get used to this routine.
- Eat well-balanced meals. Often, it is easiest to plan ahead what your meals will be for the week/month. To learn more about this, we have resources available in our online member-only archives.
- Compile a list of babysitters. Have your sitters spend time with you to learn the family's routine and needs. Many mothers hire a sitter to watch the children while they are doing heavy housecleaning, cooking, or just finding some time for themselves. For more resources on this subject, go to our online member community.
- When the babies come home there will be a period of adjustment; however, immediately set a routine to care for the babies and your household responsibilities.
- Re-evaluate house keeping. Put away knick-knacks to cut down on dusting and store items that could be unsafe for other children while you're out of sight.
- Set priorities (i.e. babies' care first, your other children, rest for you, planning and preparing meals, light housekeeping, and hobbies or social activities.
- Set a routine for chores (i.e. making formula, instead of waiting until you're on the last bottle.)
- For the first few weeks it is advisable to keep a chart on their feedings, bowel movements, medications, etc. to avoid confusion.
- Do laundry daily. Do heavy-duty chores early in the day. When cooking, double your recipes and freeze the extras for use on those more hectic days.
- Give older children specific jobs to do. This will not only help you, but lets them feel needed.
- Get babies used to household noises so that the other family members can resume their activities.
- You are not neglecting a baby if he is allowed to cry for short periods of time. When his turn comes, give him lots of hugs and he will quickly forget why he was crying. You will learn to disguish their different cries, which child is crying and if it's a fussy cry or a hungry cry. Remember, their crying is their main means of communicating with you.
- If babies are fussy, and they have been fed and are dry, try securely wrapping them in a receiving blanket giving them a feeling of security. Put both babies together, turn a radio on in their room, take them for a short drive or a walk in their stroller.
- Bath time - Before starting, make sure all the supplies you need are at hand, including clean clothes to dress them. Choose a convenient place for you, either a portable tub in nursery or the kitchen sink. (When they are older and can sit up, try putting them in a laundry basket or infant seat in the big tub with water enough to cover their bottoms.) Never leave them unattended. When done bathing the first baby,dress him/her and place him/her back in the playpen or crib before starting the other one. A vibrating/bouncer seat also works well if you want to keep baby close by while you bath the other.
- Avoid cumbersome clothing. Choose clothes that are easy to take off for diaper changing (i.e. anything with snaps in the inside of legs -- sack-type outfits work great for newborns especially! Stretch suits are practical as they cover feet too.)
- Do not carry both babies at the same time, especially on stairs. If you start to fall (or one baby slips), you have no way to catch yourself (or the baby) and a serious injury could occur.
- Start using a playpen early when they begin to notice things. Not only is it a safe place to put them, but they will get used to being in the playpen and enterain each other. It's also a nice opportunity as they get older to get some individual playtime without fear of their twin/triplet sibling coming along and snatching a toy away.
- Gates (do not use accordian-type) across a bedroom will keep the toddler-age twins sagely confined. You can also purchase a "corral" type of gate that works well for containing crawlers and early walkers. They usually don't mind if they can see you. Also, remember that your gate needs to be sturdy since two little ones working together can overpower a simple structure that is not easily secured.
- When they are in high chairs, use the safety straps. Never leave a child unattended.
- Shopping carts can be very dangerous. Use a man's stretch belt to fasten them in. Also, they can't climb out of the cart if their shoe laces are tied together. Place one in a shopping cart seat and one in the back pack or use two separate carts, securely restraining both in the seats and push one cart and pull the other. If doing a small shopping trip, secure one child in the seat of the cart and the other down in the cart, using stretch belts to hold them in.
- Start early to teach them to pick up their own toys before they take out another activity and prior to bed. It's easier when they are older if it is taught early.
- Toilet training - You will have better luck if you don't try to toilet train too early. If one twin seems ready for training before the other one, concentrate on him/her and usually the other one will follow his/her example. Make it a calm and pleasant time for the children. Use training pants from the beginning. Usually the children are proud that they are wearing them and out of diapers.
- Carefully select toys. What would be a fine toy for one child may not be for multiples who are confined to a playpen.
- Give each child individual time (i.e. separate outings to the store, bank or friend's house), while Dad or a sitter is home with the other child. They need to learn to function seperately which will be helpful later when they start school. It also helps parents think of the multiples as individuals instead of a unit.
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